question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
