and you said cock pushups were impossible
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
