Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
