p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
