Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
