We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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