ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
