Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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