kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
