isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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