Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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