Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
a search helicopter?!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
