i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
