Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How naked do you want me to be?
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