Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hippo gnu deer
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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