Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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