He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
