Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
