So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
