I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
