so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
