You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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