Quick, to the slutcave!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
