Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
