real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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