I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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