New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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