Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize