I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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