My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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