wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
