I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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