im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
