i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize