I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you win again, gameday.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
