I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
