flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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