I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
