I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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