i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
