weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
