hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
