at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
