so explain again why im purple
no
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
