I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
