Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
