I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
