Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
