Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
