Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
