She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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