Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
