Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize