HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We had to coat check the pizza.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
