it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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